Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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