We're facebook friends in real life
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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