I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize