The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
