I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
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They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
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Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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