Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
