Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
