The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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