Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
