Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
