I am spending my child support on dildos
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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