Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How external is "for external use only"?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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