I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it hurts more in the daytime
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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