Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
