I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
