No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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