i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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