Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have feelings that need drinking.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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