just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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