is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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