The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
