East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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