True but thats because hes a fetus.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
