There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
