My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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