My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
