dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
