My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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