Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
