My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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