defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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