If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I've blown a few things in my day
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
