on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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