thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
