you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
