what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
