If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
