Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
