Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
