It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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