pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
