i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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