Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
