A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
