dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
