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You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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