Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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