I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
