Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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