Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
