yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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