I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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