I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
