Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
