soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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