You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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