My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
