I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
