can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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