it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
