You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
