I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wish there were birth control emojis
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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