My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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