I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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