I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
